Ambition says yes. Your body says nup.
What you see. A capable woman, that most unsurprising of things. She’s got it together. She gets shit done. She’s a swirl of perpetual motion, a blur of texts and pinging calendar alerts.
Want something done? Ask a busy woman. That’s what they say. That’s what you see. What you don’t see is what it takes because the toll is invisible, and sometimes, so is the pain.
Some of the busiest women you know are also the ones pushing through the most. You look fine to me, people say as they observe her moving, fixing, caring, sorting what’s underneath the unending motion. For some, it’s a tactical battle with a wily enemy. The careful scheduling, the relentless appointments, a search for the latest cure , the supplements, the meds, the strict sleep rules often broken, the carefully counted spoons, portions of energy carefully spent. The payouts, the collapse, the rebuild.
By mid, often our bodies have found new and dastardly ways of getting our attention. If you won’t slow down, they mutter, as our hormones rage, I will put you on your arse. But our minds, they’re not slowing. They’re pumping. Creativity’s up. Wisdom is surging. For many, energy is returning after being handed to others for so long. We don’t want to lie down.
And yet, women living with invisible, quiet, chronic conditions are in a constant conflict with how much their bodies must cost them their ambition. Perhaps that time with the kids? Maybe, but most likely not the work, the caring. It gets done because busy driven women do, even when their bodies are shouting don’t.
Bruna Papandrea is one of those busy driven women whose body shouts don’t. She’s one of the most successful Australian women in Hollywood. But it’s not a simple story because Bruna’s success — and it’s significant success with her own production company and movies like Wild and The Dry, and TV shows like Big Little Lies and Strife which was Mia Freedman’s memoir brought to life. All this success comes comes in spite of, or, Bruna might suggest, because of the fact she lives with Lupus.
Lupus is a chronic autoimmune disease and like other forms of insidious, invisible illnesses and conditions, it makes everything harder. For Bruna, it means that some days, getting out of bed is almost impossible and every morning she wakes with pain. Not easy when you employ whole crews of people and are juggling multimillion dollar budgets.
So, does ambition dissipate or intensify in midlife when you’ve already achieved so much? And how do you do all that she does when living in chronic discomfort…
🎧 Follow below to hear Holly’s heartfelt conversation with Bruna Papandrea in full on MID.
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LISTEN: Bruna Papandrea is the most famous powerful woman you’ve never heard of.
What I want to say when people tell me I don’t look sick.
I live with chronic illness. Here’s what I know about misogyny in healthcare.
HOLLY WAINWRIGHT: ‘Christmas wish lists are out of control’.
.Dear Santa — make it stop
I mean. You must be sick of it, too.
Once upon a time, your mailbox was full of cute home-made cards, pieces of colourful paper scrawled with kiddie-crayon, wafted up northern-hemisphere chimneys atop of winter-warming flames. Envelopes slipped into letter-boxes with SANTA, NORTH POLE printed neatly on their faces.
Now, Christmas present wishlists are all PowerPoint. Google Slides. Showcasing Canva skills.
The tweens and teens have gone corporate, and I am not here for it. I can't imagine you are, either. Actually, f**k that, let's get real. You ARE me. I have been Santa and Mother Christmas, and several, shabby, teleporting elves for almost 15 years now. And I don't appreciate that the magic of Christmas is now indistinguishable from that management meeting I tried to get out of for a full 10 years.
I know I'm not the only one receiving an email to my work address, subject-line XMAS PLZ…
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All the non-boring Christmas gifts under $50.
CLARE STEPHENS: Deepak Chopra’s mum gave him one instruction as a child. It has informed his approach to living.
Deepak Chopra is the kind of person whose writings have a way of crawling from the page and into the cultural zeitgeist, travelling far and wide until they become so influential, it feels like they've been there all along.
It's likely you've absorbed the 78-year-old's work, even if you're entirely unaware of it. He was a prominent figure in the Transcendental Meditation movement in the 1980s, and went on to teach celebrities like Oprah Winfrey, Elizabeth Taylor, Michael Jackson and Madonna how to meditate.
He's a New York Times best-selling author, having written over 90 books, and for almost 40 years he's been a pioneer of New Age spirituality. Chopra writes extensively about how we take the miracle and mystery of our existence for granted, how many of us are stuck in social conditioning that limits our potential, how peace, and not happiness, should be the ultimate pursuit, and how true fulfilment comes only from getting in touch with your spiritual identity. He's responsible for pushing concepts like transcendence, abundance and manifestation into the mainstream, and while some of his ideas - particularly those around alternative medicine - are controversial, he has undoubtedly informed how millions of people worldwide think about their own wellbeing.
So, when I found myself sitting opposite him in a podcast studio a few weeks ago, with an hour to speak to him about happiness, I barely knew where to start. But I usually begin my interviews on But Are You Happy by asking my guests about whether they had a happy childhood, and so that's what I did.
"I did grow up in a very happy family," Chopra said. "My father was an Army doctor, my mother was a storyteller, and they were always celebrative about everything. Looked at every challenge as an opportunity and enjoyed life."
Chopra was born in New Delhi, India, where he eventually studied medicine before moving to the United States. I asked whether, as a child, he had any challenges to happiness. Whether there was anything he contended with when it came to wellbeing or satisfaction or finding meaning.
As an aside, Deepak Chopra is famously stoic when speaking about his life and experiences. He does not wade into regrets or failures, he is optimistic about the future, and, as he said in response to one of my questions that began with "do you worry about…" he claims that he does not, in fact, worry.
So, I did not expect answers about pain or trauma or depression.
But he did share a fascinating insight into what his mother would say each night when she put him to bed…
🎧 Follow below to hear Clare Stephens’ discussion with Deepak Chopra in full on this episode of But Are You Happy?
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‘I interview famous people about happiness. This is what I’ve learnt.’
LEIGH CAMPBELL: ‘40 life lessons I learnt by 40’.
LISTEN: What Tim Minchin Knows About Saying The Quiet Part Outloud
THE SCROLL 📱
5 ways to feed your mind and fill your soul
1. For the first time in 30 years, the government is cutting the cost of endometriosis medication.
2. Stress-free Mamamia team go-to recipes for when you have to bring a plate.
3. ‘I checked my 13-year-old daughter’s browsing history. This is what I found’.
4. Today’s celeb feuds pale in comparison to Hilary Duff and Faye Dunaway
5. The new landmark domestic violence ruling that barely made the headlines.
ICYMI 👀
Australia’s world-first law which the US wants in on. The Wednesday Waffle hack saved my friendship group. She murdered a mum over $50 — now she’s getting IVF from jail. You can’t appreciate Wicked until you know Marissa Bode’s story. This is how many Australians are really using Ozempic. The two types of clutter. Knowing this will revolutionise your home. I never stop as a single parent but this holiday removed the mental load. ‘My dad’s death via voluntary assisted dying was a gift’.
Bet you know someone who’d love MID just as much as you. Time to share the love, don’t you think?
MID-SPO STYLE. 👗💄
Holly Wainwright’s a huge fan of French style (specifically Sylvie Grateau star of Emily in Paris) and they sure do know their stuff. Watch below to find out how to decode French fashion flair and make it your own.
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Leigh Campbell’s pick of the best night creams under $50