How midlife women are burning out (without even realising it)
HOLLY WAINWRIGHT WRITES: “It had never occurred to me that Generation X got burnout,” she said. “You’re all so stoic.”
I looked at my friend. A tightly-bound millennial bundle of achievement and ambition and perfectionism and anxiety, like many young women of my acquaintance.
And I smiled inside about how when I was 20 and 30 I thought my people had invented everything, too. That the ‘old’ people around me somehow hadn’t faced any of the complex and interesting and absorbing conundrums and issues and demands I was grappling with on the daily. How nice it must be for them to be so content and unquestioning, to have everything sorted out, to be so, you know, simple.
LOL. As the millennials say.
The young don’t know the old(er). At least, maybe they know us but they don’t see us. Not beyond a surface blur of irritating Boomer stereotypes. Through that lens, we're always shouting at technology. Moaning at them to put their phones down while being constantly glued to ours (probably in a flip-case). Telling them to get out there and live life while also encouraging them to be afraid of... everything. And using ellipses, because my friend reliably informs me that only the over 40s do. That, and emoji. And saying ‘emoji’ as a singular plural. Only old people do that, too.
But Gen X-ers don’t get burned out?
Well.
I think every over-40 woman I know is burnt out, right now.
Our bodies flooded with adrenalin as the world gets tangibly worse around us and the dial ratchets up the risk to all those we're taking care of (children, yes, but also ageing parents, and vulnerable friends, and often, the people we might be paid to take care of, too, since over 40s women over-index in the caring professions).
Accompanying the adrenalin flood is the estrogen drop, and all these chemical shenanigans are backed by the relentless drum pounding in Gen X women’s heads. You worked bloody hard to get here, don’t fuck it up now.
The fourth quarter is important. The most important, perhaps. You can’t collapse now.
Except you can. ……… CONTINUE READING
The silent signs of burnout
Burn-Out, says author Katherine May, is what happens when you repeatedly ignore your own needs. Sound familiar? The first signs are often that you can't focus. Can't read, maybe. Can't sleep, or sleep too much? Can't eat, or can't stop eating? You're Tired All The Time. You have that cold that just won't leave.The cure, everyone says, is simple: Slow down, Darl. But it's not so easy when everyone needs something from you.
Author and advocate Katherine May - creator of the Sunday Times and New York Times bestselling books Wintering and Enchantment - thinks that the way we're taught to deal with burn-out is unrealistic for most women, particularly midlife women with overflowing plates. Waking up to meditate is not so easy when you've got lunches to make, work to do, life to live. And let's face it, a world that prioritises productivity hacks isn't exactly championing meaningful rest.
So how do you replenish, in 2024, when absolutely everyone's lost their charger? Find out by listening above - or wherever you get your pods.
MORE ON BURNOUT (if you’re not too tired to read)
The one side effect of burnout nobody is talking about: female rage
MID host, Holly Wainwright, tells her personal story of burnout
Mamamia co-founder, Mia Freedman, on ‘creative burnout’ and how she didn’t realise she had it until it was nearly too late
THE SCROLL
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The baffling decision by Amanda Knox to return to an Italian court
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A judge asked this NRL player if he would look after his mother for two years. He said he’d look after her for the rest of his life.
MID-SPO STYLE: the best boots for winter
Don’t let anyone tell you there is ‘one’ type of shoe or jeans or colour you should be wearing this winter. Or any season. Our philosophy at MID is very much you-do-you and we won’t be swayed from it.
One of the best parts of getting older is not being so beholden to trends. Unless trends bring you fashion joy in which case, go your hardest.
For the rest of us, there are a bunch of different options this winter as we pop our sandals and slides into the back of the cupboard and dust off old shoe friends or add a new friend in the form of a purchase. Mamamia has rounded up some great options here (knee-length cowboy boots! who knew!)
And for some styling inspo, this video has some cool ideas:
I listened to this ep in tears, I am 52 and have broken my wrist and now have nerve damage…I’m tired and grumpy…but I have now realised I need a Winter! This has forced me into it…what does that mean, still not sure but I’m going to start by getting some sun every