MID without motherhood: From child-less. To child-free.
Plus Holly shares the uncomfortable truth every woman over 40 saw in THAT White Lotus scene. And comedian Iliza Shlesinger knows what women are really laughing at. Welcome to your weekly dose of MID.
Faith and Holly this week on MID: This conversation was like a big exhale…
In a world that often views ageing with trepidation, Faith Agugu is a rebel.
Born in Nigeria, where getting older is revered rather than feared, the psychotherapist was shocked to learn how Western Culture treats ageing.
Speaking on Mamamia's MID podcast with host Holly Wainwright, Faith explained that, growing up, she approached each new decade with curiosity and anticipation.
"I didn't think about ageing until probably in my late forties," she said.
"When I was 20, I remember really clearly thinking, 'Wow, I wonder what 30 would be.' And then when I was 30, I remember thinking 'I wonder what 40 would be.' For me, that was just always my curiosity."
But Faith's excitement to grow old would soon be challenged after a hysterectomy pushed her into medically induced menopause.
The psychotherapist had been suffering from painful fibroids for years, but had delayed the surgery because she was hoping to have children one day.
Throughout her life, the idea of motherhood was always a given — something she says she took for granted.
"I never thought for a moment that it would not be open to me," she shared.
"I get to my late 30s, a relationship that I thought was going to become a marriage falls apart, and I'm suddenly in this panic, and then I have two or three relationships straight afterward. The men were not right, but I just wanted it to be right enough for me to get pregnant and have a family."
As her peers began having children and forming mothers' groups, Faith experienced a painful sense of isolation and exclusion…
🎧 Follow below to listen to the full conversation on MID: Faith wants us to make peace with the lives we're living and the ones we didn't quite get to live.
Read and listen to more
READ: HOLLY: 'Generation X, stop fighting being Mid.'
LISTEN: The Day You Disappear on MID
READ: ‘At 36, I decided I didn't want to be a mum.'
HOLLY: The uncomfortable truth every woman over 40 saw in THAT White Lotus pool scene.
THAT pool scene in White Lotus and the uncomfortable moment of truth…
There's a moment in every woman's life when she catches sight of herself through other people's eyes. And it's a jolt.
That moment happened to Jaclyn Lemon in episode 4 of The White Lotus, and oh, was this scene a rich text.
If you're not watching The White Lotus — and not everyone is, of course — let me sketch you a quick outline.
Among the groups of characters who have checked into a luxurious Thailand hotel are three long-time girlfriends — Jaclyn, who lives in Hollywood and is "on TV", Kate, who lives in Austin, Texas and is married to a rich man, and Laurie, who lives in New York and has a corporate job. Jaclyn is paying for everyone, and Kate's husband thinks this is a "mid-life crisis" trip.
It's not specified how old these three school friends are exactly, but let's land at later-mid-40s. And my, these are some stunning, groomed, toned, plumped and smoothed mid-40s friends. Even Laurie, who can't relate to Jaclyn and Kate's "who's your doctor?" tweakment talk, is slim, shiny and stylish.
There's a whole other conversation to be had about being the Laurie in a friend-group of Jaclyns and Kates — who will tell you that you look "amazing" while hinting at your bravery and relatability — but we'll get to that another day.
The creator of The White Lotus, Mike White, has captured a perfect thin-slice in these three characters. This is what the "new 40s" looks like, and it's nothing like old 40s. Nothing like "middle age". Aspirationally "still hot". These are not your mother's foreheads. And this is not your mother's resortwear…
🎧 Follow below to listen to Holly’s MID view of The White Lotus
Read and listen to more
READ: These 5 theories about The White Lotus will change how you watch it
LISTEN: The White Lotus — 5 Theories & A Dong Watch on Out Loud
READ: Do Koh Samui like The White Lotus (minus the hefty price tag).
Iliza Shlesinger knows what women are really laughing at.
Kate Langbroek caught up with Iliza Shlesinger this week on No Filter.
Comedian Iliza Shlesinger has earned the right to dress how she likes, say what she wants, and bring you to laughter while doing it.
In addition to her in-demand live shows, the author and podcast host has released seven Netflix specials to date, as well as Iliza Shlesinger: Over & Over, a "fan-u-mentary" that offers a peek behind the curtain into everything that goes into the creation of her specials. Also listed on her resume are numerous acting credits in projects such as Spenser Confidential, Pieces of a Woman, Instant Family and The Iliza Shlesinger Sketch Show.
Her latest comedy special, A Different Animal, has also just premiered on Prime Video.
Speaking on Mamamia's No Filter podcast, the 42-year-old performer reflected on what it was like rising through the stand-up comedy ranks, and how the way she dressed on stage was often a mirror to how she felt about her career at the time.
"I've been doing comedy for 20 years, so I definitely came up at a time where it was still a little weird to see a woman doing comedy," she told No Filter. "Not that we hadn't been out there — and not that women hadn't come before me — but I never dressed up on stage, because I didn't have that additional 90 seconds to get the audience used to the fact that I had a nice body.
"I wanted you to hear my jokes right off the bat.
"So I was always very casual on stage, and I wanted to be comfortable," she continued. "But in the specials, it's your chance to know that you're surrounded by fans. This is something that you earned.
"I think it's exacerbated when people make fun of it online," she said. "All because the truth is, if you're the kind of girl that would wear sweatpants and a ratty shirt around your boyfriend, you're that girl anyway. You don't just become a hideous troll.
"Also, when do we get a break as women? When can I be relaxed? Or do I have to always be uncomfortable to show that I'm fuckable, you know? I think there's something beautiful in a woman just being like 'I've had two kids'.
"I think I'm allowed to set it down for a night or and pick it back up whenever I'm ready."
The name of the romantic comedy that Iliza wrote, executive produced, and starred in is Good On Paper, a sentiment that could also be used to describe her real life. From the outside, the mother of two appears to blissfully juggle a happy marriage with a very successful and public career. But as she prepares to return to Australia in April with her brand-new show, The Get Ready Tour! she is happy to share that behind the scenes, it's a bit of a different story…
Read and listen to more
LISTEN: The full interview with Kate Langbroek and Iliza Shlesinger on No Filter
READ: MIA FREEDMAN: '12 thoughts I had while watching With Love, Meghan.'
LISTEN: Holly’s MID View Of Babygirl: Milk, Fingers, Adultery
THE SCROLL 📱
5 things to feed your mind and fill your soul.
1. 15 years ago, Mel Robbins hit rock bottom. She's now the most listened to woman in the world.
2. 'I flew overseas for a facelift at 37. Here's what surprised me most.'
3. Seven children and countless controversies: Inside Alec and Hilaria Baldwin's marriage.
4. Meghan Markle, Belle Gibson and the playbook influencers follow without you realising.
5. ICYMI, it's the first girls-trip to space.
ICYMI 👀
18 years ago Anna Nicole Smith died the same way her son did, and it's no coincidence. Inside the growing trend of Ozempic 'microdosing'. We’re in an uncomfortable new era of influencer 'content houses.' A woman held her stepson captive for 20 years. Then he lit a fire. One legged jeans are an actual viral trend, yes you read that right. When Simone Holtznagel's baby was seven weeks old, she decided to be a single mum.
MID-SPO STYLE 👗💄
It’s official, we have found our style icon of the week, who is defintely worth a follow on Instagram: Grece Ghanem. A trained microbiologist, Ghanem fled her native Lebanon for Canada when her daughter was nine years old to give her a conflict-free life. She is 60, fierce, fabulous and has a sense of style we could only dream of…
Our pick of what’s new in beauty and style on Mamamia this week.
'I went looking for the perfect oversized denim shirt. I found options from $25.'
'I'm an over-40s beauty expert. This is exactly how I get my makeup to last.'
'Never, ever pay full price.' The 6 shopping hacks Two Broke Chicks swear by.
LEIGH CAMPBELL: 'My honest opinion on makeup primer.'
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