Sometimes the mirror is a b*tch
The complexity of beauty and ageing, a modern etiquette for sending nudes, the best affordable jewellery picks for spring + our newest female icon. Welcome to your weekly dose of MID-spo.
Holly Wainwright writes:
Wrinkles and blotches and bits that sag. Shadows and creases and crepe.
My face is changing and I'm faking being fine with it. Maybe you are, too.
I'm sure that wasn't there yesterday, the mirror says, as I lean into her, minus my bifocal contact lenses with their comforting blur. Poking at a crevice. Holding up an eyelid. Pulling back my hairline. Reaching for a tweezer, a potion, a cover-all.
Sometimes it takes all the will in the world not to want to scrape it off.
I know it doesn't matter. I know that how we look is the least interesting thing about us.
And yet.
On those days, I just want to STOP IT. Stop the change, stop the slide, stop the fold, stop the inevitable.
Freeze it in time. Sand it, smoothe it, lift it, fill it.
Maybe I will.
Maybe if I did that, I wouldn't notice, anymore, that I am ageing. Maybe fewer lines would distract me from my undulating hormones, that little grunt as I stand, the advancing migraine, the birthday numbers counting up to nowhere, the days I get to spend with my people counting down.
But also, if I do that, try to trick the mirror, another trap yawns opens.
Don't you dare look like you're trying too hard. So sad. So desperate. What have you done to your face?
So many opinions, so much criticism, so much wasted energy on this little patch of fleshy real estate.
I am part of that noise. Women's faces are a regular topic of discussion on Mamamia Out Loud, the podcast I co-host five times a week. And now on MID, the podcast for Gen X women. I have resisted, for 15 episodes, talking to my smart grown-up guests about their faces because I know it doesn't matter. I know it's the least interesting thing about us. And yet. Today I do, with the smart (and yes, beautiful) Ali Daddo.
Ali Brahe was THE Australian model of the late ‘80s, on every magazine cover and on many a teenage girl’s wall. She had a huge career here and overseas, and then she married the equally famous and swoon-worthy Cameron Daddo, backed right away from the industry, settled in LA, and raised a family. Now as Alison Brahe Daddo, or Ali, as very many of us know her, she’s also become just the most honest interesting voice about midlife…
🎧 Follow below to hear more of Holly’s interview with Ali Daddo as they go deep on surface stuff — beauty, ageing, and all that both entail.
Read, watch and listen to more
LISTEN: The Dolly model who dared to grow older.
Is anti-ageing really dead? It’s complicated.
37 women on what being over 50 looks like.
To nude or not to nude?
The only nude I've ever sent was at 4:45 am on a Sunday, to a high school friend I haven't seen in real life for 15 years.
If we're going to get specific, I didn't actually send it - my four-year-old son, awake too early and being distracted by my phone in a demonstration of truly excellent parenting, was playing around with the filters on Instagram while I lay in bed, topless on my side, breastfeeding his four-month-old sister.
Before I had a chance to explain to him the laws around image-sharing and consent, a flash blinded me. I grabbed the phone from him in a panic to discover that he had sent the picture to my friend. Because it was taken and sent within Instagram, it disappeared as soon as she viewed it - which she did immediately, thanks to herself being awake and also feeding a newborn. I never got to see that nude - thank god - but my friend assured me, after saying how good it was to hear from me, that it was somewhat tasteful.
Yet I realise my dearth of nude-sending experience puts me in an ever-shrinking minority when it comes to the general population. US data suggests 77 per cent of people over the age of 19 have sent a nude photo. In Australia, a recent survey found 45 per cent of Gen Z, and 40 per cent of Millennials, copped to sharing sexy pics…
🎧 Follow below to hear Clare and Jessie Stephens welcome Orlando Bloom to the Cancelled courtroom. The actor, father, mid-week aggressor and accidental exhibitionist is best known for his roles in two of the biggest movie franchises of all time, and the paddle-boarding saga of 2016. (If you know, you know).
Read, watch and listen to more
LISTEN: Gwyneth Paltrow, a nude photo and the complexities of ageing
20% of people who forwarded nudes say they had permission — but only 8% gave it. Why the gap?
I went to a nude movie screening to practise ‘body neutrality’. Here’s what happened.
‘I was six when my dad took me on a boat trip. 10 years later, I made it home.’
Suzanne Heywood was just six years old when her father gave her the news. As casually as he ate his breakfast, Gordon Cook told his family that they would be leaving their life in England behind to sail around the world.
Despite being fascinated by explorer Captain Cook, Suzane's father had limited sailing experience, and her mother Mary hated boats. At five years old, her brother Jonathan had not long learned the sea even existed.
Just one year older, Suzanne was not much the wiser. But she did know that her dad was her hero. So they all got on the Wavewalker – a small and old-fashioned wooden boat– ready for what was supposed to be a three-year voyage.
As soon as they boarded, Suzanne and Jonathan's respective roles became clear. While her younger brother was the "golden child" who would help out on deck, she became the "Cinderella" who had to cook and clean below. With not much more than corned beef and spam on the menu, it was an incredibly dull experience for a young girl. And she was desperate for an escape.
"I was a complete prisoner in this environment," Suzanne, now 55, told Mia Freedman on Mamamia's No Filter podcast. "I had no choice on where we would go, and often my father wouldn't even tell me where we were going to sail to next. So you're completely imprisoned in this world."
Trapped and desperate, things were about to get a whole lot worse for Suzanne…
🎧 Want to hear more of Suzanne Heywood’s incredible conversation with Mia Freedman? Follow below to never miss an episode of No Filter.
Read, watch and listen to more
Cassie Sainsbury was sentenced to six years in a Colombian jail. This is her life now.
LISTEN: The very famous Australian in complete freefall.
‘After I turned down a guy at a bar, he spent 10 years plotting to destroy my life’
THE SCROLL 📱
5 reads to feed your mind, heart and soul.
1. Welcome to the undetectable era of cosmetic surgery
2. 'When Ancestry DNA revealed a family secret, I wished I'd never done the test.'
3. LEIGH CAMPBELL: 3 of the most underrated products are about to go viral.
4. ‘For years, this one bad habit while socialising ruined my relationships’.
5. ‘I’m always asked about my jewellery. These are the 7 affordable finds I recommend’.
Sylvie is a vibe. And we’re here for it.
Forget the plot of Emily in Paris (it’s… loose). Ignore Emily’s fashion choices (eclectic… and not always in a good way). Look away from Gabrielle, Nico, Alfie and Marcello (not to mention Antoine), the real reason to watch the faintly-ridiculous-but-goddammit-got-to-watch Netflix show is Sylvie Grateau.
The style. The one liners. The VIBE.
Sylvie, played by Philippine Leroy-Beaulieu (a moment for her name alone, if you please) is fierce, French and fabulous. And if TV chiefs know what’s good for them, they’ll be planning a prequel starring our newest feminisit icon soon.
Follow MID on Instagram to share in our latest obsessions (can confirm: also loose and eclectic — but always in a good way).
Got a show you’d love to see a prequel for? Let us know who, what and why by clicking the button below! 🍿
ICYMI 👀
Throw on and go dresses. Catherine Zeta Jones: A 25-year age gap and a brief separation. A ‘dedication to God’ was a facade for something more sinister. The 5-second shirt hack which has never got me more compliments. The conversation around Lizzo and Florence Pugh is dangerous but necessary. The $26 version of a cult $255 product - and it’s better than the original. The signs about P Diddy were there all along - according to celebrities.